Keep digging, Watson!

[squeequeg]

In February, I started work on a new novel: big science fiction space opera with monsters and thralls and Gates and a main character who's fascinated me for years. There's a lot about it I like, and not just in the "and if I can pull this off, it'll be cool" sort of sense: I like how I worked out the history and how it'll affect current events, I like the touches of humanity in the main character even as she's irrevocably losing it, I like the kickass parts and the retired terrorist turned bureaucrat.

However, I'm about 2/5 of the way through, and have now hit the 200 page mark. (Double-spaced, Times New Roman for this draft.) This is not good. If I keep writing it out like this, it'll be bloated and huge by the time the draft is done. I'll have to cut half and rework 80% of the rest to get it to fit together.

Worse, while I seem to have shut up my inner prose editor ("So it sounds lame! Fix it next draft!"), there's a new inner voice: the plot editor. I keep running into events that are redundant, tangles that looked so nice when I outlined them but aren't holding up under their own weight, worries about whether the plot is turning into "collect-the-coupons," and so on. Half of what I've already written will have to go.

With all this banging around in my head, it's getting really hard to drive myself to slog through the next chapter, especially when I don't know whether the plot-plot-deathscene-buttkicking bit is even going to stay around.

I could keep going with this draft, vile as it's turning out to be (All together now: Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful.), adding placeholders for scenes that I suspect will not make it in or that are proving too dull, and then attack the resultant work with a machete. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Or I could step back, set out what I've learned about the characters, and replot the whole damned thing. This seems like the more painful course, as it would mean discarding most of what I've done this year. But it might be less work in the long run -- or I might decide halfway through that draft, too, that it's all gone wrong.

There are two other factors affecting how I'm writing at the moment. The first is that because Spiral Hunt is in the hands of an agent who seems very enthusiastic about it (no, there's nothing concrete on those lines at the moment; it just seems to be in good hands), I'm having trouble concentrating on an entirely new work.

Also, this whole situation is unfortunately drawing strength from and feeding into my discontent over not having sold anything yet this year. I know it's not unusual to go through these dry patches, but I still feel as if not selling anything is somehow making me less of a Real Writer. As thomascantor keeps reminding me, that's bullshit. But it's such compelling bullshit. Even though I've sent out four new stories in the last few months, it's harder to see that as an accomplishment when none of those stories have sold.

I'm still writing some short stories: fleshing out one and polishing another for the writing group. (No cheese or Valhalla WWF this time around; sorry, guys.) So in that sense I'm doing okay, and I know it's not really a block. But I'd still appreciate some advice, anecdotes of the relevant or irrelevant sort, or exhortations to extract my head from my lower intestine.

(Judging by my recent posts, I tend to ask for advice a lot. Since the distilled wisdom of LiveJournal probably consists of one insightful thought, two pages of in-jokes, and a meme, this may be problematic.)

(And now I want a t-shirt that says "If I Did Everything LiveJournal Told Me To Do, I'd Be Bald, Homeless And Sterile By Now.")

Comments

[osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com]

You should shave your head, move out, and get spayed and/or neutered.

Also? You're one of the Real Writeriest people I know, and I know a lot of people who call themselves writers. And your worlds tend to leave one drooling for more. Which reminds me, go write more Tarot.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

My Real Writer worries tend to have no basis in reality, but that doesn't make them less pernicious.

I'll try and get more stuff written...actually, there's a project I have in mind that you might be interested in. When will you be up in Boston?

And I'ma thinking no on the spaying.

[osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com]

I'm here now. And perhaps I'll see you in 12 hours.

[schreibergasse.livejournal.com]

Well, if you keep writing at this rate, it´ll still be shorter than the average Rowling book...

Seriously, though. I wonder if the problem is that you´ve really got material enough for about TWO books? Would it be possible not to change, but instead split up, the action of the book?
Anyway. If you think the PLOT is good (resists urge to cite Sayers at enormous length), than surely the best strategy is to keep writing, and then cut heavily at the end.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Ooo, no. No no -- one and one only. I only have enough BOOM for one climax. It's paring away the little booms that's the problem.

Hm. That's actually a useful way to look at it.

[squirrelhaven.livejournal.com]

1. I've never sold anything at all. I've sent *some* stuff out, but not much, and have never. Sold. Anything. Yet I'm actually fairly confident that I'm a real writer. So for what it's worth, you're quantifiably realer than me.

2. My process with my first novel was way more recursive than linear; I'd get so far along, realize something's badly wrong, go back to the beginning and start again (with much angsting along the way), get further this time, hit a block, go back to the beginning again, etc. It's an excruciatingly inefficient way to write a book and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to anyone whose natural working rhythms lead them in a different direction. But on the plus side, this does mean that by the time I reached the end of a draft of the novel, I could be 98% certain that things were the way I wanted them to be; I'd gotten all my plotting issues figured out, the early parts of the book had been revised so often that they were pretty tight, and the late parts of the book required less revision because I'd figured stuff out before I got there. So there are some advantages to working this way, even if it's staggeringly frustrating (and prompts a few days of depressive wallowing) every time I hit that point of SHIT, now I have to start all over again?!

3. There's also a lot to be said for the Crank-through-a-shitty-first-draft-and-fix-it-on-the-next-pass method, which I've been trying to work with on my second book. (As a caveat, I'll add that I haven't finished my second book yet, but that's less to do with my working method and more about the rest of what's been going on in my life.) Because as you already know, by the time you finish your shitty first draft, you'll know so much more about your novel and what it needs that you'll be able to improve it drastically when you revise, plus it's always easier (I find) to improve an existing draft than to create something new and brilliant.

4. Therefore, whichever way you go here is equally valid, and counts as useful progress either way. The only thing that *doesn't* count as useful progress is staying still.

5. The thing I have to tell myself ALL THE TIME when I hit these moments where everything seems equally sucky and/or problematic and I just want it to be easier: No way out but through. Go to it. Promise yourself whatever end-of-day rewards will motivate you to get work done, and beat that thing into submission.

[magdalene1.livejournal.com]

I'm in the same boat with my feature screenplay. Revise? Start over, same characters, different assumptions? Write something new?

I like the phrase "No Way Out But Through"

I've loved and adored your short works that I've read. You have an audience that is waiting for someone who writes like you to tell stories like yours. It's gonna be awesome.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Shall we repair to our mountain fortresses to work out our next creative endeavors? Or shall we just obliterate Wyoming and replace it with a pudding vat?

[osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com]

Do not be ruled by the tyrrany of the "Or".

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Thanks. The "No way out but through" makes a hell of a lot of sense, and is a lot better than sitting here dithering, which is what I've been doing. I wonder if I could strike a balance between slogging and redoing?

[thomascantor.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of Edward Gorey.

Yup, it's Edward Gorey all right.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Pick away! My brain is free for the asking! I'd love to see what you write.

And thanks. I think a step back is needed in any case, whether I go on with this draft or scrap it.

[cute-fuzzy-evil.livejournal.com]

I have no helpful advice about writing, being, as I am, not a writer.

You, however, are a Real Writer, and should not doubt this. :)

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm good at doubting, it seems.

[nadyezhda.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you're very self-aware, which makes you better than 95% of the dreck on the B&N shelves, AFAIK.

I found when I was writing papers (veery diff genre, of course) that sometimes I just needed to write and then go back and edit; sure, that meant that new stuff got introduced, but I also didn't stray as much from my outlines as I normally did (and shouldn't have done). I finally got the "What do you REALLY want to say?" voice working properly, and that helped me so much, because all my writing needed to be Fish.

(Fish story: the Muzh had a professor who told his class he wanted them writing for Fish. If you're going by a roadside stand and the sign says "fresh fish sold here" it's 3 words too many. The fish better be fresh, so you can ditch fresh. The owners are not likely to be giving away the fish, so ditch that. And the only reason to put a location is if the fish aren't at that spot, so ditch here. You're left with fish, the true bones of what you should be getting at.)

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

I will now put fish in.

I suppose, pared down to the basics, the novel consists of "doomdoomdoomBOOOOM!aggidaaggidaaggida." But that doesn't sell well.

I've also got to remind myself that I'm likely to not know what the novel's about until the first draft is done. That's annoying, but was the case with the last two big projects I had, so it's likely to be true here.

[jenwrites.livejournal.com]

Ugh, ugh, ugh, I understand the feeling entirely. I think there's a special kind of limbo that comes from having a full MS on an agent's desk and then waaaaiiiiiiittttttiiiinnggggg for them to read it. It sure as hell stopped me in my tracks.

But.

I'm not sure which tack to take with the novel, but I think it's good that you've stopped to think about what to do next. Maybe you should try writing a new outline and see how painful it'll be to do the rewrite, then decide from there.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

*whimpers* *checks email again* *whimpers some more*

Yeah. I hate being in limbo, even good limbo.

I can promise that I won't inflict this on the group until I have it in a manageable form. Writing a new outline sounds good, even if I go straight from what I've got into where it meets the new one. And thanks.

[ltlbird.livejournal.com]

Not being a write myself, I can't offer any helpful advice, but it is fascinating to read about how you go about your writing. It's obvious that you work very hard at it, and that, combined with actually being published make it obvious that you are very much a "Real Writer". I am sure it is tough not having sold anything this year, but the stories may have not reached the right people at the right time yet. Who knows, maybe the second half of the year will make up for the first.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Maybe. Then again, I went longer than this last year without a sale -- it's just that I had that run of good luck for a while. Curse my complacency!

Thanks.

[minyan.livejournal.com]

My instinct would be to be wary of plotting something extensively and then trying to hold it to a plot — but most people reading my stuff have pointed out that I can't find a plot with a GIS unit, so you takes your choice :-) I tend to start with some idea and do whatever seems to be the next bit. I also have to write a fair amount before I know what the plot is, and then I work back to it. I have a short story that's gone through two drafts, and I've just figured out what the conflict in it is. I'd not only written my first draft of the book but ignored it for a semester and reread the whole thing before I figured out one of the largest plot elements in it. Most of this revision has been trying to get all the plot points roughly onto the time line.

That doesn't mean they come out of nowhere, exactly. It means I hadn't realized yet what I'd already been pointing at. I have these odd moments of wait, if that chapter's about her father instead of her grandmother, the whole damn plot makes a lot more sense. I've written scenes entirely out of sequence and realized two hundred pages later, when I went to fit them in, that I'd set them up to be where I wanted them without knowing it. It's weird, but comforting, sort of the Connie Willis model of writing.

I think what that comes down to... sometimes you gotta hunt the bird stump in order to let the butler speak, or wear yourself out so you can tell your dreams in a boat scene on the thames :-) If a scene is boring you, there's no harm in skipping it (I'm swiping this idea from Tom Perotta) at least in the first pass. If you really get into writing something, there's a very goo chance it'll be something you need, even if not where it is now or in this form. Passion's contagious. You probably can't judge the thing as a whole until you've written your way through it once and ignored it for awhile. Unlike me, you've already done this whole exercise brilliantly and know your own pacing... I did need to plot mine out, but I needed to find my way through it once first.

And by the way, congratulations! Scuffle and dustcough, here you come:-) *hug* Most of us are a lot more imaginary writers than you, my dear. You're a full-fledged, natural, whole, integral and positive one!

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Yeah...It helps to remember the first drafts of Spiral Hunt, which, well, sucked. Pretty hard. This too shall pass, and the identical kindly old ladies will probably get combined into one (though I'll have to figure out how to work in her horrible death now...). Thanks.