I must escape the muzak!

[squeequeg]

It's been a busy December for me, with the result that while I've done a lot of Christmas preparations, I don't quite feel like it's Christmas just yet. (As thomascantor would remind me, it's technically only Advent, and so that's just fine; I'll have 12 days of Christmas spirit later on.)

But one of the ways I've tried to get into the Christmas spirit has been through Christmas carols. I used to sing these all over the house as a kid (adding more gray hairs to my mom's head), and I still like a lot of them. Especially the really old ones; "Nova, Nova" is great when sung with Middle English inflections.

However, over the years my tastes in carols have changed, and what I once liked now grates on me. I would be very happy if, say, "The Little Drummer Boy" vanished from the face of the planet entirely. It's like the song was designed to get stuck in people's heads.

(It's probably not in the Christmas spirit to hear the line "then he [Jesus] smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum" and think "Baby Jesus probably had gas, kid. He won't be really smiling till Epiphany at the earliest.")

So here's a question for all of you: What Christmas carols (or other holiday songs -- yes, novelty songs do count) make you want to smash the radio?

Comments

[cycon.livejournal.com]

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
"Sleigh Ride"
"Feliz Navidad" (Really, really not the only Spanish-lyric-containing Christmas song out there!!!!!)
Nearly everything done in a "pop" arrangement.

[thomascantor.livejournal.com]

"Feliz Navidad" (Really, really not the only Spanish-lyric-containing Christmas song out there!!!!!)

Such as Ríu, ríu, chíu, to name one of the better-known. I will rue the day that is made into a pop song, (unsafely assuming that it hasn't).

In addition to the pop arrangements and muzak, I tend not to be fond of a lot of the more sentimental American Christmas carols, which are unfortunately favorites of some people, so pastors everywhere feel a need to have them sung in December. O little town of Bethlehem for example, to the tune of St. Louis. Then again, even some of the better ones are so overdone in and out of church that they become less enjoyable.

[kmunson779.livejournal.com]

You have heard the Monkee's Riu Riu Chiu, haven't you? Not exactly pop, but, I'd say, "stylized".

[cycon.livejournal.com]

Such as Ríu, ríu, chíu, to name one of the better-known.
Or "Fum Fum Fum", or the Catalan "Carol of the Birds", which is so, so gorgeous.

My favorite American ones are probably "We Three Kings", "Go Tell It on the Mountain" and "The Babe of Bethlehem". Mostly I'm into the English, French, and German/Austrian ones.

[wavyarms.livejournal.com]

It's not so much tune as arrangement. Anything can be tastefully done, but anything generally isn't.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

I await your tasteful arrangement of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

[cute-fuzzy-evil.livejournal.com]

The challenge has been issued! I want to hear that too :)

[cute-fuzzy-evil.livejournal.com]

That horrible "Santa Baby" one that you hear in malls and grocery stores.
everything cycon said
Jingle Bells
Let it Snow
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
I don't know the name of it but it has lyrics "si-i-mply ha-a-ving a wonderful christmastime"

I dread stores at this time of year... I also tend to prefer foreign-language carols (not Feliz Navidad), probably in part because pop singers don't feel compelled to mangle them.

[kmunson779.livejournal.com]

Jessica Simpson.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

'nuff said.

To expound on my previous comment...

[kmunson779.livejournal.com]

I'm very amused by bad Christmas music. I downloaded "Dominic the Donkey" the other day because I hadn't yet heard it on my internet radio station or the real radio. I sung "Santa Baby" for three years in high school and still enjoy it because of the hand motions we applied (although there's a new version out this year which bugs me because they "updated" most of the items on the wish list).

The songs that have bugged me this year are anything off J. Simpson's "Re-Joyce" album (ack! dumb re-spelling alarm ringing in my head!), and a version of What Child is This on the oldies station where the lady sings the correct notes only about half the time.

"New" one I heard for the first time this year: "Santa's Beard" by the Beach Boys. Funny story about bringing baby brother to see the mall Santa, and the kid tears off the fake beard and starts crying that he's not 'the real real santa'.

[wdalphin.livejournal.com]

"All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"

I hate the purposeful whistling lisp the singer puts on to sing this piece of crap.

[sylvantechie.livejournal.com]

Pretty much all of them with recognizeable human voices. If I have to be subject to christmas music, please let it be instrumental only (not that there aren't painful instrument only christmas songs out there as well, but getting rid of all the sung ones would be a good start).

[2h2o.livejournal.com]

What Christmas carols (or other holiday songs -- yes, novelty songs do count) make you want to smash the radio?
Lately? All of them. There's a ton of Christmas music in the world, and all that gets played publicly are the same sorry dozen.
What I don't mind is subversive Christmas songs, like Sun 60's "Merry X-Mess."
(I almost typed "Shitsmas" above, probably as an unconscious homage to Saint Shit.)

[sal-sal.livejournal.com]

Favorites: I Saw Three Ships, Sans Day Carol, In Dulci Jubilo. You know, the Christmas morning classics in our household thanks to our "A Baroque Christmas" CD collection.

Least favorite: "Hey Santa!" It wouldn't surprise me if you hadn't heard it, but I have heard it way too much. Freshman year my (inept) keyboarding teacher wasn't quite sure how to work the CD player on her computer, and accidentally left "Hey Santa!" on for the entire 80 minutes of class. Yes, it was scarring.

[kmunson779.livejournal.com]

But I like Hey Santa... at least, I haven't heard it yet this year. Hmm. Time for some downloading fun.

[sal-sal.livejournal.com]

I didn't really mind it beforehand, you see. But it's like when you eat a bag full of Cheetos or something and then throw up and can't stand the sight of a Cheeto ever again.

[kmunson779.livejournal.com]

Point taken. My mother has a fun story about a ketchup fight in an uncle's basement, then the kids being forced to clean it all up. She still doesn't like ketchup.

And I did find Hey Santa... :)