Better than nothing

[squeequeg]

You are instant coffee gulped on a bus.

You are better than nothing. You are well-meaning,
but ersatz. You sing along with Muzak in
elevators. You cannot remember your original
hair color, and your artificial nails could be
used to slice a zucchini. You forget small
details such as your telephone number and the
names of your children. You believe in
astrology, numerology, and satinism (the cult
of shiny fabrics).


What kind of coffee are you?
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This actually makes sense. The only reason I ever started liking coffee was from drinking Village Pantry "cappuchino" when I was working at the cabinet factory. When I got back East and had real cappuchino in a coffee shop, I thought it was terrible. And while my tastes have changed some, there's still a part of me that wants coffee with too much cream, too much sugar, flavor shots of everything, and sprinkles on top. If coffee came with little umbrellas in it, I'd ask for those too.

If it weren't for my whole sensitive-to-caffeine thing, I'd be Starbucks' target customer.

Comments

heh

[thomascantor.livejournal.com]

You are fresh-ground coffee, black, first thing
in the morning.

You are a life-giving substance. The US government
has secret stockpiles of you hidden in caverns
under the Rockies. When for some reason you
are late to a meeting, world financial markets
are thrown into chaos. Your presence can cure
warts and mild depression, and when you enter a
room, you diffuse a gentle fragrance that
reminds people of the happiest moment of their
childhoods. Cats and children adore you; they
curl up at your feet, where they torment small
crawling things and occasionally lick your
toes.


What kind of coffee are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I also like the double espresso result (which I got with one changed answer)... You practice sarcasm as a form of tantric sex, and your cats have doctorates. You believe in virgin sacrifice in a good cause.