squeequeg | Lobster sticks to magnet!

So last night we had a bunch of people over (many if not all of whom are on LJ) for postgiving pizza, apple crisp, pie, Tasty Evil Chocolate Death* Cake, and goofiness. It was good. It was very good.

wavyarms has posted about some of it already.

As so often happens when you get several of us together, an Oracle game arose. The rules have probably been posted before, but as a refresher, this is what happens. One person writes a question, the next writes an answer to that question and folds the paper over so that only the answer is visible, and the next writes a question which could lead to that answer and folds it, and so on...

We had a number of loops in this one, as well as recurring motifs -- notably Mike's pants, but there were others, such as Gollum, Kim Jong Il, and cooking pets. No pudding this time around, though.

Q: What is the best way to get geese off the lawn?
A: Pliers. Big 'uns.
Q: What's that in your pants?
A: Mike.

Q: What should we do about that ant attack in the kitchen?
A: A tactical nuke should do it.
Q: What should I give Kim Jong Il for his birthday?
A: Uranium pie.
Q: What exactly is Kim Jong Il making in Pyongyang?
A: Love, sweet love.

Q: How are you paying for graduate school?
A: I'm thinking of starting a tick farm.
Q: Why do we keep going on long romantic woodland hikes?
A: Eventually, I'll remember where I hid that axe.

(This one may be the most surreal one in the batch, partly because of the repeated statement. But as Katie says, it just fits.)
Q: Why did you get rid of the spatulas?
A: SPATULAS LAUGH AT MAGGIE!
Q/A: Lobster sticks to magnet!
Q: How did you get ye flask?

Q: How should I respond to that practical joke, Mr. Rogers?
A: Smile and gracefully pick up the bucket of shit.
Q: What shall I do for the talent part of the pageant?
A: Fight all the other contestants to the death! With no hands!
Q: What's your idea for "American Leper"?
A: It starts when I give you the finger.

Q: Do you like cats? My precious?
A: We likes them with a side salad. Indeed we does.
Q: What would you like with your slimy cold fishes?
A: Salty, soggy, lukewarm chips.
Q: What has it got in its pocketses?

Q: Why do you look so shocked?
A: Because your lungs are in my fruit punch.
Q: My goodness, why am I so out of breath, yet feeling strangely fruity?

Q: Where did the evil overlord's minions store their booty?
A: Well, because they're minions and therefore stupid, they put it in the big box marked "SECRET BOOTY."
Q: Where shall we find the secret booty?
A: www.booty.com.
Q: Why was granny so upset after looking up knitting patterns on the internet?

Q: Umm....to whom do these severed heads belong?
A: ME! ME! ME!
Q: WHO? WHO? WHO?

Q: What do I have to do to get a drink around here?
A: Compete in the decathalon against Herbie the Wanna-be Dentist. And win.
Q: How do I crush the spirits of all Misfit Toys?
A: Step on their liquor cabinets.

Q: Okay, left-left, right-right...what comes next?
A: The part where I smack you is next, I believe.
Q: What comes next?
A: Cake and sodomy.
Q: Can we change the Boolean operator to "OR"?

Q: How do I fit in in Europe?
A: There's a vending machine with your name on it in Zurich.
Q: Where can I find some tasty Swiss Cake Rolls?

Q: I know this is a goth bachelorette party, but where on earth did you get that stripper?
A: That's the bride-to-be, you stupid mundane.
Q: Who's the chick with the pointy ears and big sword?
A: Steve's mom.
Q: What's #4 on my to-do list?

A: Well, for starters, take off Mike's pants.
Q: How do I achieve Nirvana?
A: Ask Courtney Love.
Q: How do I find the way to pure insanity?
A: Take a left turn at Albuquerque?
Q: Where can I find hot Pueblo chicks?
A: Pueblo, assuming that's a place...
Q: Donde esta el grande queso?
A: avec le vrai dieu d'amour et pomplemousse.
Q: Ou est le tante de mon oncle?
A: Look at me! I'm so fucking French!

A: Mike's pants.
Q: What is the topic to which all conversations return?
A: Crotch.
Q: What can you find in Mike's pants?

In the second round of Oracle, we didn't have any page that was free of Mike's pants. Will no one end their tyranny?

*that's "death" in the Elizabethan sense.