squeequeg: (Default)
squeequeg ([personal profile] squeequeg) wrote2004-09-09 05:57 pm
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Five questions

Five question meme from 2h2o. I'm very glad I didn't have to answer the 'make out with a Soul Calibur character' question.

As usual, post if you want me to ask you five questions in return. I promise not to ask about Voldo.



1. How will you know when you've "succeeded" as an author?

When I'm up on that stage and Connie Willis is handing me the Hugo Award and making off-microphone cracks about its shape.

That's only half in jest. Knowing me, any definition of success is likely to be a rolling one. I've completed a novel! Great, but it's not published. I've sold my first story! Great, now sell the next one. My book is on the shelf at Borders! Great, but you don't yet have a strong fan base and your next novel could ruin your career. I've got people scurrying after me at cons asking for my autograph! Great -- but what are you going to do next?

All that said, though, I think if I get published it'll be some small mark on the list of "good things going for me." That'll be one sign that I'm getting there.

And if Peter Jackson calls me up and wants to film my novels, then I'll know I've succeeded. Of course, I'll probably be dead by then.

2. Where and why do most authors fail?

Hmm...I'm not sure what you're asking here. If I contrast the definition of success above with this definition of failure, the answer would seem to be that most (aspiring) authors don't write enough. There's a saying that lots of people don't want to write, they want to have written -- to be a writer without the interim work. It's a sweeping statement, but there's an element of truth to it. I'm guilty of it sometimes; it's nice to daydream about being an accomplished author instead of sitting down and working out the damn plot holes.

However, I don't think that's what you mean. In terms of books that I don't like or that irritate me, there are a number of things that a lot of authors seem to ignore. Idiot plots are the ones that piss me off the most -- I think Roger Ebert defined this as the type of plot where everyone has to be an idiot in order for things to move forward. If you're going to write about intelligent, thoughtful people, at least give us a convincing reason why they're acting like morons!

Character glut is another, though I notice this more with movies. We get handed a heap of characters, are given a few lines of dialogue and some witty comments, and we're supposed to care about every damn one of them. (This is why David Eddings is no longer a favorite author of mine; that and all his characters from book to book and series to series all started to sound exactly the same. Don't ever read his tips on writing fantasy; it'll just piss you off.) I may be alone in having this problem; it seems to be an article of faith that X2 was better than X-Men, whereas I thought both movies suffered from it. (Stories can work with a cast of thousands; it's just that it's harder to pull off.)

There's the syndrome in which everyone who likes the hero is automatically good and everyone who dislikes the hero automatically bad. And there are some authors -- one of whose early work I really liked, and wish she would get back to it -- who are so concerned with pushing a Message that their work suffers by it.

All of these may be idiosyncratic, though. I guess the question I've really answered here is "how do many authors fail to appeal to you?"

3. Muffin v. cupcake. Discuss.

Cupcakes are, bluntly, dessert food. They are also very specialized dessert food, fit mostly for parties -- I mean, when's the last time you had a cupcake for dessert? One that wasn't left over from an earlier party? The icing on the top tends to be their focus (viz. happy-face style cupcakes, cupcakes with little sugar houses or icons on top, etc.), thus drawing the consumer's attention away from the cake.

This is not to make a value judgment about the relative worth of cupcakes. Rather, it is that they are severely limited and suffer by those limitations. They are, as their name states, cakes, and as such are bound to circumstances in which cake might conceivably be called for.

Muffins, however, are infinitely adaptable. I have had conversations (notably with [livejournal.com profile] osirusbrisbane about their adaptability, one notable exchange ending in the assertion that nearly anything that could be put into a burrito -- or 'wrap' -- could also with sufficient care be baked into a muffin.

Though pigeonholed as breakfast foods, muffins are close enough to rolls, biscuits, or other quickbreads, that they can be part of any meal. Consider: a smoky cheese and scallion muffin alongside a bowl of hot vegetable soup; a basket of lightly spiced ginger muffins passed around the table at Thanksgiving; a dark chocolate muffin with a molten core served piping hot with a scoop of ice cream and a drizzle of raspberry sauce. Not only that, there are infinite varieties on muffin baking. I possess close to 700 muffin recipes, and few are exactly alike.

To my mind, the muffin is to be preferred. And if any doubt me, I will gladly prove my point to them with muffiny goodness.

4. Which superhero (or villain) do you most identify with?

If I say the Wonder Twins, I'ma gonna get smacked.

It's been a while since I was familiar with the superhero and villain world, and when I was, I tended to make up my own characters rather than go with theirs. (My favorite not-quite-Mary-Sue was a mutant named Selene, who could make her skin glow. It's an interesting power, and she could focus it into a weak laser thingy, but it's not very useful in battle, and she knew it. She could, however, flash "Eat at Joe's" on her forehead.)

I find that when I search for ones to identify with, my brain goes into all the little weird corners -- some tangential Sandman references (I still love Destruction), Tim Hunter of the Books of Magic (and bear in mind it's been a while since I read that series; being away from a comic store at college hurt my habit), Kushana of the manga Nausicaa -- but of the well-known heroes and villains, I'd have to say Batgirl. She's a librarian! And she kicks ass! Even in a wheelchair (which I think she's in later on) she kicks ass! And...and...librarian!

5. What's your all-time favorite place to go when you really need(ed) to think clearly and deeply?

I've had a lot of places. I try to find one whenever I move. But my favorite is the lake in New Hampshire. (No, I'm not giving specifics. It's just "the lake" and has always been.) I've been going there since I was small, and depending whether I'm down at the beach or up at the cabin, I am either surrounded by the beauty of nature or the comfort of several generations of family.

Earlier this summer, I had what wasn't really writers' block, but sort of a 'Now what?' feeling; I'd finished a number of projects, didn't have anything on my plate, and couldn't get the new one started. This was really starting to bother me. So when I was up at the cabin, I took a walk around the lake. It'd been a rainy weekend, and I wasn't expecting to do more than mope my way there and back. But about halfway around I started tossing a few words around in my head, and thinking of the meaning of the phrase "summer people" and constructing something entirely new...

It's a healing place. If it's true that we make our own sacred space, then that lake is sacred.

[identity profile] kassrachel.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
If I say the Wonder Twins, I'ma gonna get smacked.

*lol*

[identity profile] ltlbird.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I have had conversations (notably with osirusbrisbane about their adaptability, one notable exchange ending in the assertion that nearly anything that could be put into a burrito -- or 'wrap' -- could also with sufficient care be baked into a muffin.

Okay, this is weirding me out, since I just recently asserted that you + him = kid who brings burrito muffins to the bake sale! Either I've got ESP I didn't know about, or another personality of mine has been eavesdropping. :)

Want to throw some questions my way?

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Your food senses were tingling.

Give me a little time to think, and I'll send some.

[identity profile] osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Mayhap I mentioned it while you were up with Josh last?

[identity profile] ltlbird.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I am pretty sure you didn't. My idea for burrito muffins was a conflation of M's well-documented love of baking muffins and having read your LJ entries pertaining to your "burrito bash". A marvelous bit of serendipity in my brain. :)

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
Okaaay... here you go:

1. Kids. What's so great about them?
2. What's your ideal theatrical role? (Assuming supportive cast, great director, etc.)
3. Describe your real life Smash attack.
4. What place would you most like to return to?
5. East Coast, West Coast, or middle -- and which part of said region?
coraline: (Default)

[personal profile] coraline 2004-09-09 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
And if any doubt me, I will gladly prove my point to them with muffiny goodness.

i doubt you! yeah, that's it... it's not that i want muffins, it's that i doubt you! really!

it's not very useful in battle, and she knew it. She could, however, flash "Eat at Joe's" on her forehead.)

hee...

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:11 pm (UTC)(link)
A challenge! My muffin tins clang to alertness!

Okay...what kind do you want and how shall I get them to you?

[identity profile] osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:28 pm (UTC)(link)
If you're that easily goaded to cookery, I also wish to formally doubt your muffinical prowess. Also, we clearly need a day where we're in the same kitchen and actually cook the burrito muffins and the muffin burritos.

[identity profile] cmprince.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha ha, you'll be baking muffins for the rest of the year just to keep up with this thread. I'll be happy to accept some at my next birthday, so you can keep up more easily with demand. :P

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
Both of y'all are far away. I reserve my muffiny skills until either I am closer or you are visiting. Give warning and muffin preference ahead of time.
coraline: (Default)

[personal profile] coraline 2004-09-12 09:14 am (UTC)(link)
i admit to being curious about the molten chocolate muffins...
but i'm also curious what your favorite muffins are.
you could come over sometime and make muffins and i could provide tea :)

[identity profile] cute-fuzzy-evil.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
About the molten chocolate muffins you discuss...

Do you have a working recipe? I tried to make molten chocolate cakes, and my mom tried to make molten chocolate cakes- we both used strikingly different recipes, and we both ended up with very tasty things that looked like cow pies.

If you have a recipe for something that oozes chocolate yet stays vaguely muffin-shaped, I would love to look at it and see if I can figure out what went wrong with the others!

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Actually, I was speaking hypothetically, but let me go through my muffin books. There's probably several, and I could do some experiments.

[identity profile] cute-fuzzy-evil.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Cool. Lemme know how it goes! Also, you should come by sometime to see my place and for a corset fitting...

[identity profile] nadyezhda.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I gotta say that the following things (that i had in a burrito for dinner tonight) might not work in a muffin:

1) refried beans
2) eggs (not just mixed in the batter...)
3) Chorizo (and most meat products)

Convince me. :)
BTW, I would love to do a 5-q meme!

[identity profile] anacrucis.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
Didn't you have her bacon muffins?

[identity profile] nadyezhda.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
Nope. See, I'm sure that bacon conrbread muffins would be great. Not sure about steak, spam, ground beef, chicken, etc.... which is why i said "most" meat products. :)

[identity profile] anacrucis.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
well... i don't know about any of the meats you just mentioned, but I bet chorizo muffins would be good.

(the bacon muffins, incidentially, were not cornbread. They were apple.)

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
Refried, maybe not so much, unless there was a little pocket of them with salsa and jack cheese in the center of a corn muffin. Eggs are an integral part of muffins and I refuse to consider them outside the batter. And chorizo/salsa/corn muffins might work, in the same way that smoked salmon and dill muffins work, or turkey and wild rice muffins.

Your questions:

1.What do you think is the most common misconception about the former Soviet republics?
2.Under what circumstances would you ever consider cutting your hair? (And not a trim, either. I mean one or two feet off.)
3. Dumplings, pie, or Johnny Depp? Discuss.
4. Who's your hero?
5. With what animal do you most identify?

[identity profile] ellinor.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I have a feeling that Alton Brown has a good molten chocolate muffin recipe. His recipes are usually pretty reliable, and I remember seeing him make them on his show. He called them "chocolate lava muffins" and they looked muffiny when he made them. I haven't tried it, though, so YMMV.
link: here.

[identity profile] ellinor.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
looks like we're on the same page!
:)

[identity profile] cincodemaygirl.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I just think that is way too many freaking muffin recipes. What are you ever going to need 700 muffin recipes for???

Questions, please.

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
Well, word got around that I liked making muffins, and I just sorta accumulated them...

1. Dido's "White Flag" is apparently not a favorite of yours (for which I do not blame you in the slightest; for some reason, when it came out I was convinced that it was some kind of tie-in to Master and Commander and if so was the doofiest thing ever). What are three other least favorite songs, and why?
2. You've made a lot of cool icons. What, for you, are the basics of icon-making (i.e. no tiny unreadable fonts)?
3. You've just been given a million dollars! You have to spend it by the end of the year. Hollywood comedy antics aside, how do you do this?
4. If you could see into the future, would you? How? Why?
5. What do you think I ought to read that I probably haven't read?

[identity profile] wavyarms.livejournal.com 2004-09-09 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Hit me! And as I asked [livejournal.com profile] sigerson, although I suspect this might challenge you since you do know me well, ask me 5 questions that you have no idea how I'll answer. :)

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
Didn't I give you 5 questions before...? Oh well, expect a certain surrealism about these; I stayed up too late last night watching Invader ZIM.

1. What's the weirdest family story you've got?
2. Fungus. Yes/no?
3. Have you ever obliterated a village?
4. What fantasy/science fiction world would you most like to live in? (I know this has been asked of sylvantechie before, but I want to hear from you.)
5. Where are my pants?
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] stealthmuffin.livejournal.com 2004-09-10 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
Pain...oh, the pain...

1. What musical works do you think everyone ought to hear at least once in his or her lifetime?
2. When did you start following the Red Sox as well as the Mets? Why?
3. Describe your real life Smash attack.
4. Concerning popular music: what do you think have been the most innovative bands? What effects have they had?
5. Why? Dear God, whyyyyyyy?