Also, add more custard.

Lesson learned from today's crit of my story: If you're writing a story cobbled together from a cool idea and some interesting lines, make sure you know what you are writing about. You are not yet good enough to totally bullshit your way through. It's another matter entirely whether being good enough to bullshit one's way through is an appropriate personal goal.

Also, next time take more than a couple of days to think through the story. *goes to reread crits and wonder what the hell I was thinking*