inevitable post-debacle post

[squeequeg]

This rant is in many ways a pep talk for myself. Which is what Livejournal is for, right? Don't worry. I'll be back to ranting about bad movies, writing blocks, and convenience fish soon enough. But at the moment, I need to state this outright, to write it out and not just delete it, so that I can hold myself to it. Otherwise, I'll be in a corner shuddering -- and not just for today. Like sigerson, I am leaving today for sorrow -- but in order to even have something tomorrow, I need to find some way out now. As a result, this is post is probably more determined than my current mood.

This is an election that has broken stronger people than me. And it terrifies me to learn that. People who are role models for me are on the verge of just giving up, as am I. (There's also part of me just yelling "The masses have spoken! Those stupid, horse-brained masses!" over and over.)

I think part of the reason I'm having so much trouble with this news is that I've never quite been through this before. Yes, I know, 2000 and all that, but this is different. After 2000, I was able to convince myself that even though the system had been hijacked, the voters basically meant well. I could believe that somehow, it would all be all right or that Bush couldn't do too much damage in his tenure as president.

That's not the case any more.

For the first time, I am truly realizing that the majority of people in this country are willing to stand behind and support someone whose beliefs are in many ways anathema to my own deeply held beliefs. It wasn't just a case of 'bad guys stealing the vote.' It was ordinary people saying yes, we'll follow this man to whom the Geneva Conventions mean nothing, to whom women's rights are no more than words, for whom the voice of God has become confused with his own desires. The majority of people in this country believe that I, as an unabashed liberal from Massachusetts, am out to destroy them.

I am living in a country hostile to me. And it is only scarce consolation to know that many people in the world, outside this country, do not follow Bush.

What do I do, in this land that has become strange to us? Do I leave? Do I give in? Do I nurse my bitterness until it eats me from the inside out, pretending all the time it's just irony and realism?

All of that is tempting at the moment. (For me, what's really tempting is to curl up, eat a lot of bad food, and not move much for the next few months, after which I will not only be depressed, I will be huge.) But the only way I can see to get beyond that is to find new ways to try. Maybe they'll be stupid. Maybe they'll fail. But if I don't try, then when my children/grandchildren/whatever ask me "What did you do to try to stop it?" then all I'll be able to say is "I gave up."

So build. Find ways to make havens in this land that will be hospitable, bulwarks against the tide. Convince. Teach. Learn. Preserve what is beautiful and create more. Practice civil disobedience when necessary. Most importantly, speak up and for God's or whoever's sake do not let anyone shut you up because you're not being patriotic or because it's spreading dissent or because we need to show a united front to the terrorists.

Because divided we still damn well stand.

Comments

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

On retreat a few summers ago I learned the following way to approach the Jewish morning blessing in which we thank God for renewing our lives day by day. We should pray that with gratitude, but if we are for some reason unable to access gratitude, then we should pray it in hopes that gratitude will someday again arise in us.

Seems to me hope can work the same way. If we can't pray for change with genuine hope in our hearts, then let us make our prayers with the hope that someday our hope will return.

*hug*

[anacrucis.livejournal.com]

I am living in a country hostile to me. And it is only scarce consolation to know that many people in the world, outside this country, do not follow Bush.

51% of them are hostile to you. But the other 49% are with you. And that's a lot of people. Take heart.